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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23575261">honey, i just want you to feel fine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/pseuds/callumsmitchells'>callumsmitchells</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, M/M, aka the second kiss, ballumiconicmoments, scene continuation, slight angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:13:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23575261</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/pseuds/callumsmitchells</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Callum is drunk and confronts Ben about everything - but what happens after their second kiss?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>honey, i just want you to feel fine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>for @theballumplace on tumblr - thank you for creating this idea to cheer people up in unprecedented times</p><p>tumblr: @callumsmitchells x</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p><em>A </em>loud knock at the back door caused Ben to walk from the living room into the kitchen, questioning who it possibly could be, knowing that most of the people in his life would normally just walk right in, no questions asked. He sneaked a look out of the door and smiled to himself, seeing Callum stood on the other side of the door. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Now that was unexpected.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Nice surprise.” Ben commented, because it was. Both Ben and Callum had gotten closer recently, with everyone knowing the secret that once only he and Callum knew. Now, they could be around each other openly, and nobody had any right to question it, despite the fact it was still very much new territory for Callum.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Callum stepped into the house, alcohol in his system, fueling the burst of energy he had to be able to do this. “Whitney’s back.” He said bluntly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You been on the bottle?” Ben asked, recoiling slightly. It was obvious that he had been, his eyes wide and a slight stumble in his stance. He looked broken, like he’d been crying, lost in his own thoughts. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“She’s met someone.” Callum spoke, changing the subject from his drinking, solely focused on the reason he walked around to Ben’s. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben faced the sink, getting a clean glass and filling it up with water, holding it out to Callum. “Well course she has. She’s like a pinball isn’t she? Ricocheting from one bloke to another. Here y’are, drink this.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Callum didn’t take the glass of water from Ben’s grasp and instead pointed his finger, not in the mood for Ben’s sarcasm today. “Y’know, you are just as much to blame as what I am.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Now Ben was confused, not having a clue as to what Callum was talking about. “Uh, for <em>what</em>?” He asked, turning his head away from Callum, placing the untouched glass of water down.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“For ruining her life?” Callum said, as if it was obvious.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben turned back to face Callum, aghast. “She’s just got back from an exotic holiday and she’s just got off with someone.” Ben knew Whitney’s taste in blokes – and to be fair to her, nine times out of ten he could applaud her for it. “Her life sounds pretty good to me.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Callum scoffed. “Y’know, I only come out cos you got into my head and started telling me that I should.” He knew that was a low blow. He was grateful for Ben being there beside him, guiding him through the tumultuous coming out period that he experienced.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben shook his head slightly, his arms folded in front of his body, on the defensive. “No, you only come out because you got with me and realised it was what you were born to do. You’ve got to stop shifting the blame, Callum, alright? Y-you feel bad, of course you do.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“But you don’t?” He asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No.” Ben shrugged.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Callum knew that. Why would he feel bad? Ben wasn’t the one who was dating Whitney. “Na, you just light the fuse and sit back don’t ya, and wash your hands.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m not washing anything, alright, I’m the one who asked you for a drink and you, y’know, you haven’t taken me up on it.” Ben felt shy now, realising that he had completely opened up to Callum, and allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of him. He put his fingers to eyes and wiped them. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Because it ain’t that simple, Ben!” Callum raised his voice.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Two can play at that game,</em> Ben thought, and raised his voice too. “Yes it is, it is!” He shouted. “Alright, you’ve done the hard part, so just – enjoy yourself! Y-you’re upset, right, because your ex has moved on so quickly-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben couldn’t finish what he was saying, because Callum had taken two small steps forward and suddenly his lips were on Ben’s, hands either side of his face, holding on for dear life as Ben stopped moving in shock, before his hands came up to Callum’s head, fingers not knowing where to go, needing to feel Callum but almost too scared in case he breaks him. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was over as soon as it started, and Callum pulled away, watching as Ben instinctively followed him for a few milliseconds, completely blissed out from the kiss, lips plump and eyes blown. Ben’s eyes fell down to Callum’s lips, and he closed his eyes, savouring the moment. “Feel better?” He asked, and Callum was soon again leaning forward in an attempt to capture Ben’s lips in his own once more. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben pulled away as far as he can, and almost regretted it the second he saw Callum’s face drop and felt the warmth of his hands disappear from his face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Why not?” Callum asked, trying to take no notice of his aching heart.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben couldn’t even look at him, rubbing his eye once more. “Because you’re boozed up, Callum.” Ben responded honestly. “From where I’m standing, the only time you can handle being with me is when you’ve had a skinful.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“W-what, you don’t want me now?” Callum asked, his voice gravely and scared and lost. His bottom lip whimpered, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“C’mere.” Ben requested. “Come here.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He stepped forward, closing the gap between the two of them. His arms wrapped around Callum, reaching up to comfort him. Callum’s face slotted into the crook of Ben’s neck, needing the comfort that Ben happily supplied him with. He pressed his hand to Ben’s back – a way of silently thanking him – and closed his eyes, the smell of oak and mint and warmth surrounding him, completely washing away any leftover scent of lager. “You are going to work your way through this, okay?” Ben quizzed, but both of them knew it was a statement, rather than a question. He rubbed Callum’s back, warmth and tingles following the touch, and Callum couldn’t help but raise his arm even further, placing it on Ben’s shoulder, tightening his hold on Ben. The younger man pressed his lips to Callum’s shoulders, feeling that Callum needed that extra touch, but also knowing that he needed that touch too. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thank you.” Callum whispered, his voice low and his breath hitting Ben’s neck. “For everything. Letting me be myself, giving me the strength to come out, being there for me.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben smiled, and ran his hand up and down Callum’s back again. “Want to go upstairs?” Ben asked. “Not to do anything, just to talk, if you want. Or get your head down, sleep off the booze. Less chance of my dad interrupting us.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Your dads here?” Callum asked, wincing. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Unfortunately.” Ben responded, pulling away from the hug and then missing the pressure of Callum’s body against his. “Upstairs then?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Callum nodded, dragging his hands down Ben’s arms, pulling his right hand away, and putting his left hand over Ben’s, a feather-light touch against Ben’s bare skin, and Ben smiled, looking down. Within seconds, his fingers were intertwined with Callum’s, Ben’s thumb running over Callum’s skin, soothing him. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>With his spare hand, Ben picked up the glass of water, and then followed Callum out of the kitchen and quietly up the stairs. When they got to the top of the stairs, Callum turned to face Ben and whispered, “Which ones yours?” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben nodded towards a closed white door. “Second.” He answered. “It’s a state.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I expect nothing less from you.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben snorted, and knocked Callum’s shoulder with his own. “And there was me being nice to you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Callum smiled, shy. He’d never been like this with anyone before, let alone Ben. He suddenly felt like a teenager, thinking that sneaking up to his crushes room is something that he missed out on in his teen years. At least he had this now. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He looked around Ben’s room, and shook his head in disbelief. “It looks fine.” He commented, taking in the bedroom, noticing photos of Lexi with Ben in frames at the side of his bed, both of them with grins on their faces, Lexi’s arms around Ben’s shoulders, her blonde hair wisping down in front of her face and blowing into Ben’s. His bed was a mess, the sheets now made and his pillows placed in the middle of the mattress. On his desk sat a box, filled with vinyls. “Didn’t have you down as an old school music lover.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Blame my mum.” Ben smiled, putting his pillows against his headboard, throwing his quilt over the mattress, trying to neaten his room up without really putting any energy in. “As well as my love for musicals, she also got me into old music.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Callum flicked through the vinyls, noticing Springsteen, Queen and The Beatles among others. “So much to learn.” He said to nobody in particular, making a mental note. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He turned to face Ben with a timid smile on his face, and noticed that Ben was now sat on his bed. Callum stepped towards him, and perched on the edge of the bed, metres away from Ben, almost too scared to move closer. Ben reached his hand out, and Callum followed suit until the tips of their fingers touched and then soon their fingers were intertwining and Ben was applying pressure, pulling Callum towards him. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“We can lay down if you want?”  Ben asked, his voice barely above a whisper and even he was questioning why he’d suddenly been reduced to a shy mess.</p>
  <p>Callum nodded, a tight smile across his lips, and both of them repositioned themselves. It wasn’t long before Callum rested his body next to Ben’s, who had his fingers now wrapped around Callum’s hair, threading them through his quiff, teasing it down and around his fingers, curling them.  Ben looked down and saw that Callum’s eyes were closed lightly, his eyelids flickering under each touch, and a blissed out smile appeared on his face, lips open slightly, taking Ben’s breath away.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He breathed out a laugh, quiet and peaceful. “You like that?” Ben asked, his voice barely that of a whisper. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Callum smiled, his eyes staying shut. “Hmm.” He mumbled out, his brain not working enough to produce actual words. He was at peace with Ben. Finally comfortable around someone, enough to be able to do this. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m sorry.” Callum murmured. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben’s hand in his hair stilled. “What for?” He asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“For getting drunk.” Callum explained. “Coming over here shouting the odds. I know it’s not your fault that Whit’s moved on, and I know I shouldn’t be angry at her for doing that because it’s exactly what I’m doing too.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben’s placed his hand on Callum’s cheek, and shifted down in the bed so he was facing him directly. “We’ve all been there, Cal, you don’t need to apologise. I get why you’re angry, but you need to remember that you’re not with her anymore. You can move on, and so can she. It’s only fair.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I know.” Callum said. “I know. I’m sorry.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Stop apologising.” Ben smiled, stroking Callum’s cheek with his thumb. “I’m fine. You’re fine. It’s all good, I promise.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Callum smiles shyly. “Bet I’ve ruined my chances with you now.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben nudged Callum’s shoulder and grinned. “Never. Fancy you too much.” He admitted. “Tell anyone I said that and I’ll-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’ll what?” Callum raised an eyebrow, smirk growing on his face. Ben shrugged, defeated. He couldn’t threaten Callum, not even teasingly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So, you want to go on that date with me?” Callum asked, confidence growing with every second spent in Ben’s company.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ben smiled, leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to Callum’s cheek. He wanted to stay there forever, but he knew he had to speak. “Ask me when you’re sober.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>And so he did.</em>
  </p>
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